Kinder UK - Mumsnet Research

Mumsnet research Rewarding children Using rewards How to play Difficult behaviour

At Kinder we think it's really important to understand parents, which is why we decided to work with a leading parenting website to find out more about how parents really feel about giving their children confectionery treats.

We carried out a survey of 1023 mums with the help of Mumsnet and what follows in this article is a summary of some of the key findings.

Mumsnet survey results

Over three quarters (77%) of people who answered our survey said that they believe that they exercise moderation when it comes to using confectionery as a reward for good behaviour. The majority (over half or 53% of UK mums) give their kids sweet treats just once a week or less.

Almost every parent questioned (93%) agreed with the statement that "I am educating my child about having a balanced diet". The research suggests that today's kids are being taught to understand the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy diet and lifestyle.

The research also found that there is widespread understanding amongst parents that such treats should be used as a reward, rather than as a result of being pestered or because it makes them (parents) "feel good".

The research did, however, find that parents are getting increasingly confused by the different – and often contradictory – research they receive from public sources, experts and health professionals.

Understanding nutritional information

A third (33%) said that they found information presented about nutrition was confusing and that they "tended to rely on their own common sense" rather than listen to them.

Commenting on the findings, Dr Elizabeth Kilbey, child psychologist, presenter of BBC’s House of Tiny Tearaways and consultant to Kinder said:

"This research shows that UK parents think hard about how to reward their children to encourage good behaviour. They realise that moderation is vital – and understand that use of a treat or reward as a way of reinforcing positive behaviour is an effective strategy".

"That said the research also found that many parents are using food, toys or other tangible incentives to reward their children. It is very important to encourage parents to see that praise, affection or spending more time with their child (social rewards) are also extremely effective."

Reasons for treating

The research also looked into the way that parents are using rewards.

While half of parents (52%) agreed that they use rewards following good behaviour – which psychologists agree is a positive way of shaping children's behaviour – another half (48%) said that they use treats to get kids to stop misbehaving.

Dr Elizabeth Kilbey continues: "Children are not born knowing how to behave well which means like other things in life they have to learn this skill. By associating rewards with bad behaviour you are actually increasing the likelihood of that behaviour occurring again."

Top treats: kids vs parents

Just over one-in-ten parents agreed that "having some family time" was one of their most-used treats.

Around half of mums (48%) said that they used comics and a similar number said small toys or gifts. Almost one third (30%) said they offered chocolate as a reward for good behaviour and one-fifth (18%) sweets.

Dr Elizabeth Kilbey observes: "Using treats seems to be part of the parenting repertoire of the parents surveyed, but the research shows that parents tend to use toys or food more than praise or quality family time. Ideally parents should also be encouraged to see spending time with their child as an excellent and effective form of reward or treat".

Parents stick with moderation message

Almost three quarters (72%) of parents agree that they feel concerned that the debate about sweets and chocolate in children's diets has become exaggerated. Rather, parents say they are using moderation and – counter to popular portrayals – are in control of what their kids are eating.

As would be expected, almost all parents (98%) feel that they have both control over, and responsibility for, what their kids eat when they are together as a family. However, parents also exercise control over their kid's diets when they are apart: 86% say that they do have some control over what their kids eat while they are with friends or at school.

Dr Elizabeth Kilbey concludes: "As a psychologist I would like to encourage parents to feel empowered and in control of the choices they make for their children and be able to feel confident about their decisions, including the decisions about how to manage and reward their children's behaviour."

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